‘Face of Jesus’ discovered in Rorschach test

Eerie ... 'Jesus' face in Rorshach Test

I’d always heard weird news stories about the likeness of Jesus or the Virgin Mary being miraculously discovered in the most odd and random of places like on an egg, on a banana, in a frying pan, on a cat, on a cow, on a toilet, on a dirty rag,  in Ikea, in a condom, in bird poop, on a tree stump, in a lava lamp, on a potato chip, on a pierogi, and in a painting.

And skeptic that I am, I always pretty much wrote it off as a product of pareidolia, the psychological phenomena of seeing patterns in vague stimuli.  That is, I was a skeptic until April 1, 2010 when the  miraculous image of Jesus was discovered someplace where chance, pareidolia, and April Fools pranking could not possibly have played a roll…in a Rorschach Test.

The long flowing hair and beard of Jesus can clearly be seen in the blot of ink found in what initially went unnoticed as an ordinary Rorschach image. But many say there’s nothing ordinary about this Rorschach image, which even has some scientists baffled.

“The card was going to be thrown out after its having been sneezed on,” an NYU psychology student inexplicably wearing a white lab coat said. “But then I saw it. Because the Jesus image only manifested after being sneezed on and because it’s so important that the media have cute nicknames to include in their fluff pieces, we began calling it, Sneezus.”

Today one unnamed observer noted: “It takes you by surprise. I saw it clear as day as I was leaving a restroom after a serious case of diarrhea following a conversation with friends about weird newspaper articles that fill space with completely irrelevant and sometimes even inappropriate information when suddenly I found God. In a blot of ink!”

Further, uncorroborated and credulously accepted rumors and hearsay suggest that even the popular God-eating, strident, militant, fundamentalist atheist blogger PZ Myers immediately converted upon seeing the ‘Jesus face’.

And scores of people from across the country gathered to say prayers to Sneezus earlier today.

The NYU psychology student who made the initial discovery said, “It’s doing no harm and it’s bringing people together from young and old to black and white, Protestant and Catholic, to say a few prayers, so what’s wrong with that? Who cares if we’re preying on people’s most sacred beliefs for fifteen minutes of fame, some money, and possibly a reality show. This is America.”

But not everyone is bowing down to the all mighty Sneezus. Bill Donohue condemned the ink blot as further evidence that Christians are the true oppressed minorities in America today, far more oppressed than the blacks, Jews, and the Native Americans were at any point in history. And the cynical naysayers representing the New York City Skeptics recognize this for the slow news day sensationalist stunt that it is. So to create the illusion of balance, I’ve devoted a whole a paragraph or two at the bottom of this article to marginally acknowledge their opposing viewpoint.

In an email, a Vatican spokesman stated, “the church’s response to phenomena of this type is one of great scepticism,” irritatingly spelling skepticism with a two C’s.

“While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Sneezus, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition,” he said without any hint of irony.